Who is feeding who?

As teachers and small group leaders I know you put significant time into preparing lessons so that you have something of substance to lay before your students or participants when you gather. But have you given any thought to training them to feed themselves or to feed others?

Feeding an infant usually involves placing a puree into his or her mouth. As the child grows the parent looks for foods that the child can grasp and feed himself without choking. Then the child is trained how to use a knife and fork to cut up his own food. Eventually most people learn how to cook for themselves (at least follow basic recipes) and only a small minority never gain the skills of preparing at least one dish (even if that is frozen pizza or grilled hamburgers) that they can serve to others.

However in the church, we tend to blame ourselves if people complain that they are not being served what they want when we should be teaching them to feed themselves and others.

This is one of the landmark findings of the Reveal study that was conducted by Willow Creek Community Church of their own congregation and later many other congregations as well.

Hebrews 5:11-14 speaks about the sad state when people have been immature for too long because they refuse to move toward spiritual maturity.

We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Sometimes people don't move toward maturity because we don't really want them to. We like the fact that they are dependent upon us. When we need them to need us, it is an unhealthy relationship that has been labeled "co-dependence.

I love 1 John 2:12-14 because it clearly identifies various levels of maturity and says that we must interact with individuals depending upon their maturity, BUT it implies that people should NEVER remain in a state of immaturity.

Do you really believe the participants in your group are capable of feeding themselves and others? (2 Timothy 2:2)

Superstar or superTEAM?

Much is being written about the way that Brett Favre shredded his former team in last night's game. Yes, the Vikings won and yes, Favre threw 3 TDs, BUT was it a bad decision for the Packers to go in a new direction with the QB position a year ago?

The statistics today show that after 4 weeks of this season Favre has a Passer rating of 104.7 (3rd in the league). Rodgers is only 2 slots behind that with a rating of 101.1 while still taking a league-leading 20 sacks in the first 4 games. And Rodger has actually thrown for 261 MORE yards over these first 4 weeks than Favre.

What would Favre's rating be if he was playing behind the Packer's offensive line? What would Rodgers' rating be if he was playing behind the Vikings offensive line?

The media likes to make a lot of the QB controversy, but football is a TEAM sport.

In the same way CHURCH is a TEAM endeavor! People may compare musicians or Pastors. Congregants may have great love for one teacher or a particular small group leader, but NOBODY serves in isolation.

What are you doing to value the team around you?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Since everybody else is talking about the Packers-Vikings game last night, I will not… (or did I just do what I said I wouldn’t do?)

I just read a post from another author/consultant whom I trust and has had a significant influence on our local church. These are the questions I am asking myself today. As a leader who has been called by God to influence others in His Church, which of these questions challenge you the most?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) has a huge impact on our leadership, relationships and influence. Poor EQ causes us to lose coinage with others while good EQ does just the opposite. Think through the following indicators of good EQ and evaluate how well you are doing in these crucial areas.

I am approachable and have a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude

I seek to resolve conflict quickly and well

I am self defined but always leave the door open for dialogue with those who disagree and work to keep the relationship

I live with self confidence but not hubris

I am highly flexible

I seek to understand myself well including, weaknesses and strengths and the shadow side

I ask others for feedback on my behaviors

I am a team player and value “us” more than “me”

I work very hard to understand others and put myself in their place

I don’t hold grudges and extend forgiveness easily

I don’t need to be popular but I do desire to be respected

When conflict occurs I take responsibility for my part

There are no issues that are off limits for my team to discuss

I am patient with people and always give them the benefit of the doubt

I have a sense of humor about myself and don’t take myself too seriously

Leading From the Sandbox: Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Do you have a succession plan?

Let me start by eliminating any potential rumors. I am not planning on leaving my current place of ministry any time soon, nor am I in the plan to succeed anybody else in their position of ministry! Now that the “Rumor Weed” had been dealt a healthy dose of Round-up, let’s get to this week’s blog post.

This morning I have read two other blogs focusing on the replacement of Senior leaders. In one blog the implication was that if you don’t have a plan in place to develop new leaders, you may be relying too heavily upon personality. In another blog the introductory paragraph mentions several large ministries where the founders’ sons have taken over for the father. (In my humble opinion, some of these sons have been groomed/prepared for leadership while others are living out a dynasty based upon name recognition.)

This is not just an issue for Pastors and church Boards!! What about your Small Group? What about the area where you volunteer in your local church? Do you have a plan to replace yourself? Can ministry continue (thrive?) in your absence?

When our children were little my wife was hospitalized on a few occasions, which left me for several days in the role of a single parent. The kids actually wore clean clothes each day and nobody lost weight during the ordeal. (I realize doing this for a week is not the same as those who carry this burden for years!) The point is that some homes are run in such a way that one spouse has no idea how to do laundry or where to find things in the pantry or where to find tools in the garage because the other spouse is too possessive of those areas. A wise person will develop others in the family with skills to cope in their absence.

In the same way, a wise ministry leader will develop others with the skills to do ministry in their absence. I would like some volunteer ministry leaders to weigh in on this…What are you doing to identify and develop leaders to replace yourself?

Reading Your Idiot Lights

I just found the following quote at the blog of another pastor. I thought these thoughts provide a good warning and he provides an appropriate response. Click on the link at the bottom to read the rest of his article.

Idiot lights on our dashboards signal to us that something is malfunctioning in our vehicle. The most common one is "check engine". It could be something as simple as a service call or a major problem with the power plant. Whichever, if we don't pay attention to them, some serious damage could result.

God graciously has put into all of us our own set of idiot lights that tell us when our power plant is on overload or malfunctioning. Let me list a few typical ones:

Fatigue, lack of compassion, anger, cynicism, depression, sleeplessness, defensiveness, excessive control, fear, anxiety, boredom, aimlessness, withdrawal.

healthier pastors: Reading Your Idiot Lights