Mentoring That Makes a Difference

 There is a book that has been on my shelf for 15 years. I read the book when I first received it, then forgot about it until I received this quote in an email - taken from the last chapter of this book.

   Below are the highlights and you can click on the link at the end of this post for the full article.

As a mentor I don't want to tell people what God's will is for them; I want them to discover it for themselves. And that happens best, I've noticed, when I affirm what's going right with a person.

• Express encouragement regularly. A young lawyer in a class I taught recently wrote a paper on 1 Corinthians 15. He didn't just parrot back my lectures, however. He went beyond what I had taught, doing his own study and making his own breakthroughs. He grappled with issues we hadn't discussed in class; he dared to draw his own conclusions. It occurred to me as I read his work that I was learning from this student. So on his paper, along with his grade, I wrote a note saying his ideas had inspired me.
• Build trust. I can encourage another in the things that matter only if the person will share what's important to him with me. That means I have to attend to the slow business of building trust. And that involves listening with interest to what the person shares with me and affirming the good in what they say and do.
  Gradually, the person I'm mentoring will share deeper thoughts and talk about their more exciting dreams. And that's when my encouragement will really count.
• Don't qualify the affirmation. I meet many people who are discouraged because what personal encouragement they have revived has been qualified: "Yes, that's true enough. But you forgot about this." I look for ways to give simple, direct affirmations without the "buts," without having to add anything. Since the people I mentor are serious about their walk with Christ, I know in most cases they'll eventually figure out where they fall short. In the meantime, I'm giving them confidence that, when they do see a shortfall, they'll be able to do something about it.
  I call this kind of prophetic mentoring the ministry of agreement.
• Confront only when you've earned the right. Naturally, as in any meaningful relationship, there comes a time when the mentor must confront the person being mentored.
  A mentor, then, offers encouragement, and sometimes direction, so that the person mentored can move ahead on his own with confidence.

Source: Mentoring That Makes a Difference - BuildingChurchLeaders.com

Take Time to Be Holy

   You may have heard about the cruise ship last week where hundreds of passengers got sick. The link below details the virus and announces that the ship has been docked for a complete cleaning.

   This reminded me of an old hymn that admonishes us to intentionally pursue activities that contribute toward spiritual health. Here are the lyrics to that song:

Take time to be holy, Speak oft with they Lord;

Abide in Him always, And feed on His Word:

Make friends of God's children, Help those who are weak'

Forgetting in nothing His blessing to seek.

 

Take time to be holy, The world rushes on;

Spend much time in secret with Jesus alone:

By looking to Jesus Like Him thou shalt be;

Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.

 

Take time to be holy, Let Him be thy guide,

And run not before Him Whatever betide;

In joy or in sorrow Still follow they Lord,

And looking to Jesus, Still trust in His Word.

 

Take time to be holy, Be calm in they soul;

Each thought and each motive Beneath His control;

Thus led by His Spirit To fountains of love,

Thou soon shalt be fitted For service above.

 

Link to FOXNews.com - Cruise Ship Docks for Cleaning After Hundreds Sickened - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

Look at All the Lonely People

 As the holidays approach consider what you can do in your small group or class to reach out to isolated people. This is a secular resource that reveals a problem that the Church can address. It reminds me of Jesus' comment in Matt 9:36 when he had compassion on helpless and bewildered people.

Look at All the Lonely People

In Norman Rockwell's classic 1943 painting, "Freedom from Want," an extended family is gathered around the table to celebrate a holiday feast. Fast-forward 63 years to Thanksgiving 2006 and—while lack of food is still a problem for too many in this land of plenty—you are much more likely to find want of a different kind. More and more Americans are starving for significant relationships.

Earlier this year, the American Sociological Review published a disturbing study, "Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades." Researchers Miller McPherson, Lynn Smith-Lovin, and Matthew E. Brashears reported a "remarkable drop" in the size of people's core network of confidants—those with whom they could talk about important matters.

As of 2004, the average American had just two close friends, compared with three in 1985. Those reporting no confidants at all jumped from 10 percent to 25 percent. Even the share of Americans reporting a healthy circle of four or five friends had plunged from 33 percent to just over 15 percent.

To draw our culture to Christ, evangelical churches spend enormous amounts of money on slick marketing materials, enormous amounts of creative energy crafting "authentic" worship, and enormous amounts of intellectual capital on postmodernizing the faith. We're not convinced these strategies get to the heart of our cultural malaise.

Perhaps another "strategy" is in order. What if church leaders mounted a campaign to encourage each of their members to become friends, good friends, with one unchurched person this year?

Oh, but that would require so much commitment, sacrifice, and humility! Exactly.

Source: Look at All the Lonely People | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

Keeping Your Eye on the Ball

You may or may not have seen the news reports of Ted Haggard in Colorado Springs. Regardless of how the timing of this story is politically motivated, by Haggard's own admission, he has behaved immorally.

The lesson for us as teachers/leaders is 3-fold.

1. Ensure that you are personally spending time with God apart from lesson preparation
2. Don't allow yourself to become so busy that you let your guard down.
3. If you are advancing the cause of Jesus Christ, know that Satan has you in his crosshairs. God has guaranteed victory to all those who walk in it, but that doesn't erase the attacks by the evil one and his minions.

The link below expounds on these thoughts.

When Pastors Fall: Keeping Your Eye on the Ball

Source: MondayMorningInsight.com > When Pastors Fall: Keeping Your Eye on the Ball

Four Secrets of Great Team-Based Leadership

Found this article on Team Building (there is a difference between a "team" and a "workgroup"). Below I share the bullet points and a link to the full article. 

Four Secrets of Great Team-Based Leadership
Leadership as a team makes ministry enjoyable and effective.
By Dave Ferguson

Here are four secrets of great team based leadership:

THE SECRET ABOUT THE CAUSE—"We are committed to the cause first and each other second."

Great leadership teams are always clear about the cause. There is no great team that is not clear about the cause. There is no good team that is not clear about the cause. A lot of other stuff may get fuzzy, but the cause is always very clear. 

THE SECRET ABOUT COMMUNITY—"We don't know when we are working and when we are playing."

I love the way Eric Bramlett describes working at CCC; "working here feels like recess". I can't tell the difference between working and playing; they feel the same!

When we are looking for new staff, my team mates have been coached to consider the three C's of character, competency and chemistry. For us, chemistry is always the first priority.

THE SECRET CHARACTERISTICS – "We may look crazy or chaotic to you, but there is a method to our madness."

One of the secrets of a great leadership team is that in their relentless pursuit of the cause they become a community with characteristics that are exactly how God made them. This may appear crazy or chaotic to the outsider, but there is a unique method to their madness.

THE SECRET FOR CREATING CULTURE—"We REALLY are going to change the world."

It is the lead team more than any other team that will create the culture and the ethos for a church. When you have a lead team that is clear about the cause; willing to die for the cause; and where serving feels like recess you have created a church culture where people start to believe that we REALLY are going to change the world!

Dave Ferguson serves as a resource for other churches and leaders seeking to expand through multiple church sites and provides visionary leadership for the NewThing Network (www.newthing.org).

Source: Four Secrets of Great Team-Based Leadership - BuildingChurchLeaders.com

Small Groups - How to Lead a Small Group

Received this article today and thought it might help some of you with "nuts and bolts" of SG leadership. 

How to Lead a Small Group
10 practical suggestions to help Christians grow.
From the Church Leaders Answer Book

The success of any small group starts with the leader. Effective leaders are not teachers or lecturers. They are facilitators and catalysts whose primary job is to get people to interact with each other. Almost anyone can lead a dynamic discussion by following certain guidelines.

1. Come to the study prepared. Ask God to help you understand and apply the passage to your own life. Unless that happens, you will not be ready to lead others. If you are using a good study guide, it will probably take you an hour to read the passage, work through each question in the guide, and become familiar with the leader's notes.

2. Pray for the members of your group before the study. If the Bible is to have an impact on their lives, the Holy Spirit must be at work in their hearts before, during, and after the study.

3. Begin the study on time. If people know the study begins on schedule, they will work harder to arrive on time.

4. Explain that the studies are meant to be discussions, not lectures. Encourage everyone to participate, but realize some may be hesitant to speak during the first few sessions.

5. Encourage more than one answer to each question. A good question should have more than one possible answer, and each person has his or her unique perspective. Ask, "What do the rest of you think?" or "Anyone else?" until several people have responded.

6. Affirm people's answers. People often are reluctant to speak up unless they know you appreciate their insights. Simple words such as "That's a great insight," "Good response," "Excellent idea," or "I hadn't thought of that before" are enough to show people you value their comments.

7. Don't be afraid of silence. It usually seems longer to you than to the other members of the group.

8. Resist the temptation to answer your own question. Rephrase the question until the group understands what you are asking. A group will become passive and silent if they think you will do most of the talking.

9. Never reject an answer, even if you think it is wrong. When you reject people's answers, they feel rejected as well, and they may decide it is too risky to give their opinion again. A better response would be, "Which verse led you to that conclusion?" Or let the group handle the problem by asking them what they think.

10. End the study on time. A healthy small group will do more than study the Bible together, so leave enough time for other activities such as sharing and prayer. If these are merely tacked on at the end, the health of the group will suffer.

— Jack Kuhatschek. Adapted from "How to Lead a Small Group Bible Study Effectively," for Zondervan, http://fm2.forministry.com. Used with permission.

From The Church Leader's Answer Book, copyright © 2006 Christianity Today International, published by Tyndale House Publishers.

Source: Small Groups - How to Lead a Small Group