Responsibility

In the first church where I was on staff my Senior Pastor was known for clearly stating “the first responsibility of any church member is to maintain his own spiritual life.”

This weekend I began reading the book “Lasting Impressions” by Mark Waltz. The 3rd chapter of the book introduced a problem that many small group leaders and Christian Education teachers possess—We make it our responsibility that those we teach are growing spiritually. Consider his words quoted below.

When I felt responsible for every person, my failure or success depended on their steps in their journeys. When I felt responsible for our students, I considered their missteps to be my fault. I felt profound guilt when people didn’t line up with what I thought they should know and do.

Being responsible to our people is quite different. And incredibly freeing.

• When I’m responsible to people, I understand they have choices. When I’m responsible for people, I think I should decide for them.
• When I’m responsible to people, I know they must figure out their next steps. When I’m responsible for people, I try to tell them what their next steps are.
• When I’m responsible to people, I know they must bear the consequences of their own chosen actions. When I’m responsible for people, I assume the guilt—or worse, the shame—for them.
• When I’m responsible to people, I share their journeys, offering encouragement and teaching. When  I’m responsible for people, I try to direct their journeys, never allowing them to wrestle, mess up, or make a wrong turn.
• When I’m responsible to people, I talk to God a lot on their behalf. When I’m responsible for people, I talk to people a lot on God’s behalf.

What do you think? Is Mr. Waltz on to something? Have you felt the bondage of responsible for and the liberty of responsible to?

Maturity is marked by lots of Immaturity

I am reading Mark Waltz’s “Lasting Impressions” in which he quotes a blog from his Pastor, Mark Beeson.

"The 'mature church' is the church filled with immaturity."

Anywhere in the world, whether plant or animal, the clear delineation of "maturity" is the ability to reproduce.  Immature animals can't reproduce.  Immature plants can't replicate themselves.  The definition of maturity is "being fully ripe, fully aged" so the connotation of maturity is obvious.  Where you see maturity you'll observe new life, babies and immaturity all over the place.

Maturity desires reproduction.
Maturity tolerates juvenile behavior (from juveniles) while training its progeny for success in life.
Maturity means "little poults running all over the place."

If you attend a mature church, be prepared for immaturity.

I found this to be an interesting insight. Maturity is not marked by absence of immaturity. The more Maturity is demonstrated in your church, the more immaturity will be present, exposing the need for maturity.

Mark Beeson: Meleagris gallopavo / Easter Wild Turkey

Problems and Solutions

Received the following in an email on Friday and it reminded me about the difference between those who focus on problems and those who look for solutions.

As teachers/leaders we can get discouraged by lack of participation, lack of preparation, tardiness, stagnancy in the group, etc. or we can choose another path.

I often hear from leaders/teachers “by now I thought my students OUGHT to….” We need to revise our thinking by telling ourselves “right now my students CAN….”

DUCKS QUACK, EAGLES FLY

Harvey Mackay was waiting in line for a taxi at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie and freshly pressed black slacks, Wally the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back door. Harvey noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside — spotlessly clean.

As Wally slid behind the wheel, he said, "Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf."

Jokingly, Harvey said, "No, I'd prefer a soft drink."

Wally smiled and said, "No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice."

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, "I'll take a Diet Coke."

Handing Harvey his drink, Wally said, "If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today."

As the taxi pulled away from the curb, Wally handed Harvey a laminated card and said, "These are the stations I get and the music they play if you'd like to listen to the radio." As if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey the air conditioning was on and asked if the temperature was comfortable.

The driver then advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. Wally also let Harvey know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

"Tell me, Wally," the amazed passenger asked, "have you always served customers like this?"

Wally smiled and looked in the rear view mirror. "No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru Wayne Dyer on the radio saying that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, ‘Stop complaining. Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd."

"So I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers unfriendly and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more."

"I take it that has paid off for you," Harvey said.

"It sure has," Wally replied. "My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year, I'll probably quadruple it."

Wally the cab driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like a duck and to start soaring like an eagle.

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Reprinted with permission from nationally syndicated columnist Harvey Mackay, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller "Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive."

You can always find Harvey's nationally-syndicated weekly column on his website at www.harveymackay.com and can sign up to receive it for free every Thursday morning.

What is the power behind your persuasion?

I just finished reading a blog post about the disappearance of the pulpit from the sanctuaries of American Evangelicalism. As you lead your small group or class, what does your posture communicate? Do you stand or sit? Is there a piece of furniture (podium or lectern) that designates you as the leader? Do you sit in front of the class? close to the whiteboard? head of the table? Do you hold the remote to the PowerPoint (designating you are in control of the flow of the presentation) or do you set it down (communicating we are going to stay on this topic until it is adequately covered)? Do your students/participants respect you because you have lived life with them and you have relational influence or do you rely upon positional power?

My conclusion is that this is not an either/or issue, it is a both/and situation. Sometimes authoritative proclamation is most needed and sometimes relational dialogue is most appropriate. The wise communicator will use all sources of persuasion and use appropriate posture for whatever purpose he/she is speaking.

Below is a snippet of the blog post about the disappearance of pulpits. A link is at the end of this post if you would like to read the rest of his thoughts.

You may have noticed that most evangelical churches have abandoned the pulpit for a more seeker-friendly wooden stool.

“From the pulpit” is a phrase that is often used to communicate the authority of the message.

In Protestantism the pulpit stands as the iconic symbol for the very foundations of the movement.

I teach a teacher training course. During this course we discuss the way that one communicates non-verbally during a presentation. For example, when one wishes to teach in a more Socratic method, they will ask questions of the audience. The goal is maximum participation. Here, the desire is to make your audience think critically, expecting them to carry some of the burden. This method is accomplished best when the teacher is walking among the audience (peripatetic). He or she should not be on a raised platform, for this communicates a level of authority that will hinder participation. One wants to communicate that they are leading the discussion, not autonomously telling people what to think. Therefore, being on level with the audience is the best method.

However, if one is to speak authoritatively, this is not the best method. In this case, one wants to be seen as the teacher, not merely a participant in the learning or a discussion guide leader. Here preparation, authority, and command of the subject are communicated in two ways: 1) Elevated height. When one is physically raised above the audience, this not only gives the speaker the ability to be seen and heard, it demonstrates their unique position as the teacher. 2) Pulpit or podium. The podium serves as a separation between you and the audience demonstrating the authority of that which you are teaching.

In traditional Protestantism, the pulpit has served to position the Scripture as the ultimate authority.

Parchment and Pen » The Forgotten Pulpit#comment-22079

Looking for Life-Change

Who is responsible for the outcomes of your class or small group? All leaders want to see something happen and at times we can waffle between taking all of the credit for the good and none of the blame for the mediocre or we blame ourselves for all of the failures and give God credit for all the successes.

Neither of these postures is accurate. The human/divine partnership in making disciples is a tension that all of us must hold. DON’T become passive or lazy and DON’T become domineering or controlling!

The thoughts below come for a website that quotes a portion of a book that I have not read. The paragraphs below and the hints on the webpage they are taken from give some good advice on things you can do to ENCOURAGE real transformation without trying to MANUFACTURE it in your own strength.

Transformation is our goal in small groups. At the same time, it is something that is not up to us. God is the author of transformation. We cannot, by following certain steps or doing the right thing, bring about transformation in our own life or the lives of others. The most we can do is simply be open to it—to put ourselves, and our groups, in the best position possible for God to do his work.

So what can small groups do to help bring about transformation? This is one of those times when it would be nice to have "five steps toward transformation," or a nifty acronym, or better yet, an acrostic of the word transformation—"T" is for "take time to reflect … ." But transformation cannot be wrapped up with a pretty bow. There's no formula. No way to plan for it.

Deep transformation is possible for people in small-group community, but skills and spiritual maturity on the part of the facilitator are often the vehicles the Spirit chooses to use to get us there. Transformation is the end; skills are the bridge that helps us cross the chasm to get there. As facilitators, we develop skills and maturity to maintain openness to our own transformation and—potentially—to be used by God as an agent of transformation in the lives of others.

Looking for Life-Change | Articles | SmallGroups.com

Open Church in a Closed Community…

I just read of a large church that is opening an additional venue. The problem (in some readers’ minds) is that this venue is in a gated community. The building they will be using for worship is owned by the developer and one of the policies is that the building is only to be used by residents of the development and their guests. Some are upset that people who don’t live in that community won’t be able to drop in and visit the church.

Time for a reality check!! I think that those who are upset with this location are of the impression that mass marketing, creative signs and impressive media is what draws guests into America’s churches. All of the content that I am reading says that “programs don’t build churches, people build churches”. If the people of this new church are inviting their friends, neighbors and co-workers then the problem is solved—each person who attends this facility is a guest of a resident. I think the days when a person would see a steeple on a building and decide to drop in for services have long disappeared.

(Yes, I know that disconnected visitors may visit a worship service. But they would be a very small minority of those who do so!) The proportion would be even smaller of those who would come to your class or Small group because of some marketing or the fact that you are using a popular curriculum. MOST people who visit (and become a part of) the group you are leading will do so ONLY IF the current participants have been kind to them, invited them and welcomed them into your learning community.

This week I noticed ads in the newspaper paid for by churches who normally don’t do newspaper advertising. I am of the conclusion that ads will remind people who are already convinced, but they won’t persuade many (any?) to engage in becoming a Christ follower.

What are you doing to empower your current participants to be your sales, marketing and recruiting team for new group participants?

MondayMorningInsight.com > Saddleback to Open a Private Church Campus on Easter…