Appreciative Inquiry

A couple years ago in a Graduate School class I was introduced to the idea of “appreciative inquiry.” The idea is that instead of focusing on what is bad and needs to be changed, we should inquire as to what positive resources are at play in any situation and harness what is positive to address what is lacking.

Last week I had a discussion with a friend about the stage that his toddlers are currently at. Even though their participation toward family goals is quite limited, he has chosen to live in the moment and enjoy the uniqueness of each stage as it comes.

Frustration is normal for leaders and it is easy to wish that things were different, but we should never allow our desire for a different outcome to make us grumpy, negative or bitter about our current  reality.

Can we find the positive in our current challenges? One blog author writes these observations.

Some observations I’ve made about those with a positive attitude:

1. They have a Positive Presence. They non-verbally communicate positivity.  They have energy, look excited, and their posture says, “I’m glad to be here.”
2. They take a Positive Approach. They think first of how we can before why we can’t. Their world view is can do.  Even when facing the impossible, those with a positive attitude believe in the possibilities.
3. They give a Positive Response. They’re teachable.  They own the results without making excuses.  Their first response is, “thanks for the feedback.”

Guest: Scott Rodgers - LifeChurch.tv : swerve

Let’s all sing together…”a little bit of sugar helps the medicine go down…”

How Do You Handle Criticism?

One of the blogs I follow is from a pastor of a large church in another state. Today’s post addresses an issue that ALL leaders will face sooner or later, and EVERY leader I know has had to deal with it on more than one occasion—Criticism.

Since we are all flawed, sinful people still in the process of being conformed to the image of Christ, you and I will make mistakes and bad choices and others will often hold you accountable for those decisions.

This is what my friend Craig writes…

In the early years, I reacted negatively to all criticism. I spent my energy defending rather than learning. Over time, rather than dismissing all critics, I opened my heart to learn from them. God has used several constructive and a few not-so-constructive critics to help me grow and improve as a spiritual shepherd and leader.

How Do You Handle Criticism? - LifeChurch.tv : swerve

This weekend I learned that somebody in our body is holding a grudge against me for something I said or did a long time ago. I don’t know who the person is or what I did but I know it is serious enough that this person told another person she would never participate in a class that I teach. The second person told the offended party to approach me and give me a chance to make it right, but this has not happened, YET.

Even though I don’t know the particulars of this offense, I am trying to learn from it. What have I communicated by word or deed that leaves this offended person with the impression that I am unapproachable or that confronting me would be a negative or futile experience.

So What have YOU learned from criticism?

The Power of Momentum

Several years ago I learned the relative power of obstacles in regards to momentum. Here is the word picture.

Imagine that your car is at a dead stop and somebody places a 4 inch stone in front of one of the wheels then asks you to push your car over that stone. It is very unlikely to happen. Now imagine that your car is rolling down a hill and there is a 4" stone in the middle of the path. You may feel a bump, but your car is most likely going to roll right over that stone without loosing an ounce of energy.

A similar thing happens in your small group or class. If your group is just starting and you encounter an obstacle (a key participant is sick, somebody has issues and tries to dominate the group, somebody forgets to bring the snack, etc.) then that obstacle becomes a Greater Threat to where God wants your group/class to be going. However, if you have already established an expectation of what a healthy group is (good servant/leadership, respectful cooperation from all participants, shared vision and purpose, etc.) then if one of those same obstacles happen during a particular meeting; everyone can acknowledge the situation, deal with it and get on with what God has called your group to be and do.

Some businesses have been totally derailed by the current economy because they had not accumulated reserves. Other stronger businesses have had to make adjustments, but will survive the season and come out fine.

My experience has been that many teachers/small group leaders encounter obstacles early in the life of their group and get discouraged and quit. My encouragement is to keep going in the direction God has called you (you may have to ask others to help you 'get the car rolling') and as your group becomes healthier/experiences success/gains momentum. You will find that the obstacles that once threatened to totally halt momentum, will become pathway 'bumps in the road' that will be more easily overcome.

Guard Your Heart

I have long heard the suggestion that a good way to build a habit of daily Bible reading is to read one chapter of Proverbs according to the day of the month. That would mean that today (January 4, 2010) people are reading Proverbs chapter 4.

One blogger who is taking the “31 Day Challenge” makes the following comment on Proverbs 4:23

I believe it was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” So maybe the most important thing we could do at the beginning of this new decade is to examine the “wellspring” of life.

Is the seductive, deceptive lure of some sin such as anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and sexual immorality, creeping into your heart?

Is there anyone you’ve been withholding forgiveness from?

Do you secretly celebrate the failures of people around you?

Have any secrets that you’re working hard to keep from some of your closest friends?

I’m praying God will teach you and me both to guard our hearts because the desire of Jesus is to transform our hearts, not just edit our behavior.

(To see this quote in its original context click the link at the end of this post)

I received a tweet from twitter that said “That one step of footprints is where Jesus carried me and my 60-inch plasma TV.” OUCH! I wonder what other idols we are holding onto? How often do we take refuge in the arms of Jesus, while keeping a tight grasp on things that allure our hearts away from Him.

Guarding our hearts is a matter of what psychologists call self-speak. What are the messages that role around in your head? If you focus on positive things you will absorb a positive perspective. If you listen to negativity, you will reflect that view.

A couple of years ago I asked a person I respect if he thought “dark” music contributed to clinical depression in teens. He answered, “no, dark music just reflects the moods of those who are already depressed.” I respectfully disagree with my friend. I think that media choices are not just a symptom, but also a contributing factor to moods. They contribute to the spiral that feeds itself.

If the music I listen to, books I read, movies I watch, people I associate with are reinforcing certain thoughts, then those thoughts become my new norm. Whether positive or negative.

Philippians 4:8-specifically tells us to make a choice to “think on” thoughts that edify.

Colossians 3:2 instructs us to “set our minds” in a particular direction

1 Peter 1:13 guides us to “prepare our minds” for action

2 Corinthians 10:5 challenges us to “take every thought captive”

and Col 2:8 warns that others’ ideas can captivate our attention and affections.

Nearly 30 years ago I took my first computer programming class. In that class we were introduced to the acronym GIGO – Garbage in, Garbage out. GIGO was the concept that bad data or bad programming going into the computer would force the computer to yield bad output. I understand that humans are not mere cognitive machines because we have a will that can override raw data. But the more data that is in our thoughts will influence the impulses that we experience.

So, on this 4th day of the month, I encourage you to heed the words of Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart!

 

Guard Your Heart | WithoutWax.tv by Pete Wilson