Maintaining pace and direction

At our services yesterday our Pastor challenged us to FINISH WELL based upon Acts 28. We were all reminded that a poor start does not doom us to a bad finish. Isn’t that a great reminder? As you look back to your first experience teaching or leading a small group, you are probably very grateful that you are doing better now than you were then.

Should the Lord tarry, I hope you are not yet ready to finish. So I would like to offer some encouragement for the middle of the journey.

I heard a consultant once say that most people overestimate what they can do in the short-term and underestimate what they can do in the long-term. The key is to set appropriate goals in the middle of the process.

When I was learning to drive I was taught to fix my eyes on a point down the road because if I looked just in front of the car I would constantly move the steering wheel back and forth to try to stay between the lines. Looking down range smoothed out the ride for everyone in the vehicle.

While in college my roommate ran in the Chicago Marathon, my only contribution was to help prepare a big Pasta dinner the night before so he could “carb load.” That is the closest I ever got to participating in a marathon! I have heard that marathon runners often “hit a wall” in the middle of the race and I have read that the best way to keep going is to pick a point in distance and run for that point, then pick another point and run toward it, and so forth until they reach the finish line.

I believe many teachers/small group leaders want to finish well and hear “well done, my good and faithful servant” but give little attention to mid-course goals. Now that we are in the dead of winter, the end of the education year may seem a long way off. In the short term it is helpful to set a goal for EACH lesson. Ask yourself “What does God want me to accomplish in the 45 minutes we are going to be together this week?” But effective teachers also can communicate sequential goals for the year. i.e. a month from now our group will be able to ….., in 3 months our group will be able to…., etc.

At our church we are committed to “Making More and Better Followers of Christ.” A Better Follower of Christ is one who is fully transformed into the likeness of Christ which is the end goal, but there are intermediate goals. I have prayerfully determined 10 areas that must increase if a person is ever to reach that final goal. Each of our Adult education classes is directed at one of those 10 goals to help make sure we are moving in the right direction at a good pace. (If you are interested in this, check out the last page of this packet.)

What are the goals God would have for you to pursue in the next month? in the next 3 months? Keep up the pace! Keep moving in the right direction!

New Challenges require New Methods

Yesterday I watched a TV program on Secrets of the Secret Service. In this episode they spoke about how new threats have emerged that require new strategies to protect the President. Specifically they mentioned domestic terrorism and access to the sky over the White House (e.g. airplanes and missiles) as threats that have changed in the last 50 years (especially in the last 10 years).

This prompted me to consider what new challenges have emerged that may require new tactics of those who desire to be faithful to the commission given by Jesus to make disciples of all people.

A new challenge that I believe Christian Educators face today is the shrinking attention span of Americans of all ages. We used to schedule around a 9 month academic year (Sept – May), then church curricula was developed for 13-week quarters, then 6-8 week Study guides were written. Now most contemporary churches only do 3-4 week sermon series. In our own classes at SLEFC we have found that attendance drops off after the 3rd or 4th week in our classes.

Those who teach children have found that a 45 minutes class is holds students’ attention best when the lesson plan is divided into 10 minutes blocks.

Week-long “Revivals” or “Crusades” have been replaces with 3-day conferences and one-day events. Event the Friday Night/Saturday Church retreat usually includes a significant percentage of attendees who come late or leave early.

Without the availability of time to thoroughly develop a subject and the reality that many of our students have less Biblical literacy than previous generations, the “deep” subjects are often ignored in the American Evangelical experience.

A second challenge that I believe we face is that many of our students are less teachable because they have already developed strong opinions, even though those opinions may not have been tested beyond the individual’s perspective. Our society has promoted education as the key to success and people want to appear more successful than they actually are, so they pretend to have more understanding than they have truly acquired.

It is not easy to create a THIRST for understanding. The Apostle Paul admits in Philippians 3:12 that he had not yet attained, but was pressing on toward a goal.

Perhaps the best way to inspire thirst in those we lead is to demonstrate it ourselves. Let our students know that we are not experts, but that we are still working hard at gaining new understanding ourselves.

Soldiers or an Army?

I have spent the last week mulling over a tension that every leader must wrestle with. Is my primary responsibility to the group or to individuals that make up the group?

On one hand, healthy groups are made up of healthy individuals. If the individuals who make up your group are not healthy, then the group can never be healthy. But just because the individuals are healthy does not guarantee that the group will demonstrate corporate health.

In the movie "Saving Private Ryan" an detachment is sent to the Front to find and bring back one particular soldier because his family had already suffered great loss. Often the other soldiers in the detachment ask "why are we risking our lives for this one guy?"

Biblically Jesus told the story of the Good Shepherd who will leave the 99 safe sheep to search for the 1 lost lamb.

Do teachers/small group leaders allow the needs/desires of one participant to dictate the direction of the whole session? Sometimes that is the most compassionate response.

Last week I read Leviticus 13-14 dealing with mildew and skin disease (That's a great way to have inspiring devotions!!). In those chapters the priests were instructed to isolate or quarantine the affected garment or the lame person as a compassionate way of protecting the rest of the community.

As a Pastor I have received the Saturday night late calls to deal with a crisis. Discernment and judgment are essential to determine how much time/energy God wants me to invest in that individual/family in midst of crisis and how much time/energy God wants me to invest in the making sure I am in a proper mindset to accurately handle the Word of Truth for those who will be gathering for worship and instruction.

Part of this answer is having already invested time/energy into OTHER people who can assist during times of crisis so that I can compassionately respond to the emergency and direct the best resources for the individual AND the larger community.

As a teacher/small group leader, I hope you NEVER lose compassion for EACH person who participates in your group. But also realize that your shepherding of the whole group often means that you best demonstrate compassion for an individual by allowing another individual to assist with their crisis so that you provide godly leadership.

I guess I conclude that EACH soldier deserves compassion, but the best compassion possible doesn't always come from the primary leader. The leader has to make sure that compassion is demonstrated, but not necessarily do it himself or herself.

Sometimes the General donates his blood for the private who has been wounded on the battlefield. But the General doesn't have enough blood for everybody but has the responsibility of making sure that enough blood is found and made available to each soldier in his army whenever it is truly needed.

When is Enough Enough?

Bobby Gruenewald of Lifechurch.tv posted this on his blog today.

If I gave you $100,000, could you make your house or apartment excellent?  I imagine that with some careful investments in furniture, paint, etc you could probably do it.  If I then gave you another $500,000, could you make it more excellent?  How about $5 million?  You get the point.

Now, when was it excellent?  After the $100k investment?  The $500k?  Somewhere in-between? Or is it already excellent?

The pursuit of excellence is just that…a pursuit for many and rarely a destination.  In nearly every investment we make (our time, money, etc) we can generally always invest more to make something more excellent.  The big question is “When is the investment enough?”  The good news is that we do have a choice.

Read this post on the cost/excellence and then this one on cost/effectiveness.

When I studied Economics in High School one of the things we learned was the “law of diminishing returns”—there comes a point were the same amount of effort does not continue to bring the same results.

In grade school we were taught to “go over our work” so we could catch our mistakes. In college we learned the value of proof-reading because mispelling (or is that misspelling?) and typographical errors would effect (or is that affect?) our grades.

As teachers/leaders our learners deserve that we put due diligence into our preparation, but there is a point of diminishing return. There is a point where investing more time into editing the words we choose or editing the font of our study guide or cutting out the craft EXACTLY according to the pattern no longer contributes to our effectiveness of “making more and better followers of Jesus Christ.” There comes a point where effectiveness will be better achieved through personal investment in the individual life, than in more preparation of an excellent lesson.

Bobby’s thoughts quoted at the beginning of this post refer to cost. We easily relegate “cost” to the realm of finance. But cost also relates to time and energy. You most likely invest much more time & energy into your learners than you do money. Are you investing that time and energy toward excellence? toward effectiveness?

Can I encourage you today to work smarter, not necessarily work harder?

People want to be part of something together

I have just started reading Unleashing the Power of Rubber Bands by Nancy Ortberg. She suggested starting with a chapter toward the end of the book and that is what I did. I would like to share with you her words.

Not only is the old model of the omnicompetent leader dated, it simply won't work anymore. There is too much to accomplish for one person to be responsible for or capable of handling everything. Too much is at stake and the world is moving too quickly for us to go back. People want to be a part of something together, not just following the leader.

Then she relates a story of her time as an Emergency Room nurse when a frantic babysitter rushed through the doors with a limp, barely conscious three-year-old boy. There was too much that had to be done too quickly so the lead physician began giving direction and each member of the team did his or her part while the Doctor monitored the progress and coordinated the team and adjusted the treatment as lab results began to come back. The child’s life was saved ONLY because the doctor was willing to lead others and allow them to make meaningful contributions so that the end result was greater than any one of them could have accomplished on their own.

You have been selected as a small group leader or Sunday School teacher because there are too many precious lives that need to be reached and so much important truth that needs to be communicated that one pastor or even a small team of paid specialists CAN’T get it all done! YOU ARE AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE PROCESS!

The people in your class or small group long to be part of something significant like that also. Don’t deny them of the pleasure of making their contributions to your group effort. The spiritual lives of the people you are trying to reach just may require a group effort that is greater than you can pull off by yourself!

More than Hot Air!

I have heard a lot of speakers who liked the sound of their own voice because they went on, and on, and on and on even though nobody else seemed to be paying attention. I have been in places where attempts at creativity were so blatant that the message got lost in all the pizzazz. This weekend I heard this message which I thought was a clarion call and a good reminder for all those tho desire to be an ambassador of Almighty God to remember that the content of our message matters.

The real "Hall of Justice"

When I was a kid I was never much of a reader. I didn’t even read many comic books, but that didn’t prevent my imagination from being stretched by the stories of the comic book heroes. More often than not, my Saturday morning included this…

I wondered if there might be a real place somewhere that superheroes came together to join powers to overcome evil. As I watched the stories of these superheroes, I learned that most were at one time ordinary people until some transformational event happened in their lives.
I later experienced that there really are places where ordinary people experience life-transforming power then work together to overcome evil. We call that transforming power the Gospel and the “Halls of Justice” are small groups and churches all across the globe.
I believe that is what the Body of Christ is intended to be in the world. A group of transformed people working together to see a community transformed by the Gospel to the glory of God.
What an honor and privilege it is to work with SuperHeroes to see God's kingdom come and to see God's will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

You only have a limited window!

I am preparing for a talk I will be giving in a little over a week on the life of the apostle Peter. Even though I have preached biographical sermons on him before, a new insight caught my attention this weekend--his most efficient ministry happened during a relatively short window of time.

Most leaders and Bible teachers are aware that his effectiveness did not take off until after the resurrection. The 3 denials at the crucifixion and the later restoration when he was asked 3 times by the risen Lord, "Do you love me?" had to refine his character before the promise made by Jesus in Matthew 16:19 could be fulfilled. You probably remember the bold sermon in Acts 2 where 3000 got saved. You may even remember Peter's interaction with Simon the tanner and Cornelius. You may remember the prominent role that Peter played in the Jerusalem council in Acts 15. But did you realize that Acts 15 was actually the beginning of Peters DECREASE in effectiveness? By Acts 12:3 Herod Agrippa had targeted Peter for persecution as an attempt to quiet the people. Peter is released from prison but the persecution is still fierce and Peter is forces to leave (Acts 12:17). So Acts 2-12 was Peters window of greatest influence.

I think many of us do not like to admit our mortality. We somehow believe that God is going to going to continue to give us opportunity and grow our influence until a ripe, old age. But the events of Fort Hood last week remind us that NOBODY is guaranteed of tomorrow. Neither you, nor the people you are seeking to influence! You may not lose your life tomorrow, but circumstances may change so that you lose your opportunity to influence change.

Some have observed that much preaching today lacks the passion of previous generations. Could it be because we have lost the sense of urgency? I know that some urgency has created panic and false alarms.

I would just like to encourage each of us to "number our days" (Psalm 90:12)

Pastor Dave.

Shadows or Substance?

This weekend I was reminded on several occasions of the great effort that goes into pursuing shallow goals.
* Some people spent WAY too much time worrying about Halloween costumes.
* Some children spent WAY too much time collecting candy that will be gone in less than a week.
* I met some people who spend WAY too much of their life pursuing pleasure that disappears like a wisp of cold breath.
* Some people spent WAY too much emotional energy on Brett Favre's first return to Lambeau Field.
* I have spend WAY too much time thinking about the newest computer operating system from Microsoft.

This all reminds me of a line from a 20-year-old song by Steve Camp "we're playing marbles with diamonds". My heart breaks when I consider all the disappointment people experience when they don't understand God's grander scheme and purpose for life. When they think "this is all that life has to offer" and they experience disappointment, then they are shattered.

BUT YOU KNOW BETTER! You know of the mystery of the riches of God's grace and the blessings He has in store for those whom He loves. By teaching and leading small groups I know that your desire is to help your students catch a glimpse of this beauty that waits beyond the disappointment of this world. You offer substance to those who have become frustrated with chasing after shadows.

The world around us is full of people who need to wake up and see the glory as communicated in this music video. I'm glad you are available to point people in that direction!!

Distractions

The news over the weekend about two Northwest Airlines pilots who missed the Minneapolis airport by over 100 miles and had to double back has had the news media abuzz. What does this have to do with leadership?

It turns out they claim they failed to do their most important task - Pilot the airplane because they were distracted by a discussion about the new software system that determines when they would pilot airplanes.

This reminds me of the parable of the lifesaving station that has been made into a video here. Here is the text version

Do we sometimes lose focus of MAKING MORE AND BETTER FOLLOWERS OF CHRIST because we get distracted by "getting through the lesson" or "finishing the chapter"? Sometimes our format gets in the way of transformation. Sometimes our activities get in the way of our obedience. Sometimes our training gets in the way of our mission.

The news reports that the two pilots will lose their jobs and most likely their commercial licenses to fly. But fortunately there was no loss of life, but those passengers will never get back the time wasted by the mistake of these two pilots.

Somebody reminded me that it is wise to learn from one's experience, it is wiser to learn from somebody else's. I hope we will be able to gain wisdom from the experience of these two pilots.

Changing Perception

I just saw a great video based upon the premise of "Can we motivate people to do something good for them if they think it will be fun?"



Reminded me of something I heard years ago in a preaching class. THE BIBLE IS NOT BORING! "It is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword". If people perceive the Bible to be boring it is because of something we have done to it.

If the people in the video could change perceptions so that people were willing to take the stairs instead of the escalator (even the frail, elderly gentleman at the very end of the video), what might you be able to do to change the way people perceive Biblical training?

I'm not talking about compromising the message!! but how it is presented. The training to join the special forces in the military is not easy, but it is packaged and delivered in such a way that there is a waiting list to get in each class of recruits.

The elite military, elite business schools, elite sports teams, etc. inspire aspiration so that potential recruits are willing to pay great price for the privilege of participating.

What could be done so that the same aspiration was attached to your small group or class?

Who is feeding who?

As teachers and small group leaders I know you put significant time into preparing lessons so that you have something of substance to lay before your students or participants when you gather. But have you given any thought to training them to feed themselves or to feed others?

Feeding an infant usually involves placing a puree into his or her mouth. As the child grows the parent looks for foods that the child can grasp and feed himself without choking. Then the child is trained how to use a knife and fork to cut up his own food. Eventually most people learn how to cook for themselves (at least follow basic recipes) and only a small minority never gain the skills of preparing at least one dish (even if that is frozen pizza or grilled hamburgers) that they can serve to others.

However in the church, we tend to blame ourselves if people complain that they are not being served what they want when we should be teaching them to feed themselves and others.

This is one of the landmark findings of the Reveal study that was conducted by Willow Creek Community Church of their own congregation and later many other congregations as well.

Hebrews 5:11-14 speaks about the sad state when people have been immature for too long because they refuse to move toward spiritual maturity.

We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Sometimes people don't move toward maturity because we don't really want them to. We like the fact that they are dependent upon us. When we need them to need us, it is an unhealthy relationship that has been labeled "co-dependence.

I love 1 John 2:12-14 because it clearly identifies various levels of maturity and says that we must interact with individuals depending upon their maturity, BUT it implies that people should NEVER remain in a state of immaturity.

Do you really believe the participants in your group are capable of feeding themselves and others? (2 Timothy 2:2)

Superstar or superTEAM?

Much is being written about the way that Brett Favre shredded his former team in last night's game. Yes, the Vikings won and yes, Favre threw 3 TDs, BUT was it a bad decision for the Packers to go in a new direction with the QB position a year ago?

The statistics today show that after 4 weeks of this season Favre has a Passer rating of 104.7 (3rd in the league). Rodgers is only 2 slots behind that with a rating of 101.1 while still taking a league-leading 20 sacks in the first 4 games. And Rodger has actually thrown for 261 MORE yards over these first 4 weeks than Favre.

What would Favre's rating be if he was playing behind the Packer's offensive line? What would Rodgers' rating be if he was playing behind the Vikings offensive line?

The media likes to make a lot of the QB controversy, but football is a TEAM sport.

In the same way CHURCH is a TEAM endeavor! People may compare musicians or Pastors. Congregants may have great love for one teacher or a particular small group leader, but NOBODY serves in isolation.

What are you doing to value the team around you?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Since everybody else is talking about the Packers-Vikings game last night, I will not… (or did I just do what I said I wouldn’t do?)

I just read a post from another author/consultant whom I trust and has had a significant influence on our local church. These are the questions I am asking myself today. As a leader who has been called by God to influence others in His Church, which of these questions challenge you the most?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) has a huge impact on our leadership, relationships and influence. Poor EQ causes us to lose coinage with others while good EQ does just the opposite. Think through the following indicators of good EQ and evaluate how well you are doing in these crucial areas.

I am approachable and have a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude

I seek to resolve conflict quickly and well

I am self defined but always leave the door open for dialogue with those who disagree and work to keep the relationship

I live with self confidence but not hubris

I am highly flexible

I seek to understand myself well including, weaknesses and strengths and the shadow side

I ask others for feedback on my behaviors

I am a team player and value “us” more than “me”

I work very hard to understand others and put myself in their place

I don’t hold grudges and extend forgiveness easily

I don’t need to be popular but I do desire to be respected

When conflict occurs I take responsibility for my part

There are no issues that are off limits for my team to discuss

I am patient with people and always give them the benefit of the doubt

I have a sense of humor about myself and don’t take myself too seriously

Leading From the Sandbox: Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Do you have a succession plan?

Let me start by eliminating any potential rumors. I am not planning on leaving my current place of ministry any time soon, nor am I in the plan to succeed anybody else in their position of ministry! Now that the “Rumor Weed” had been dealt a healthy dose of Round-up, let’s get to this week’s blog post.

This morning I have read two other blogs focusing on the replacement of Senior leaders. In one blog the implication was that if you don’t have a plan in place to develop new leaders, you may be relying too heavily upon personality. In another blog the introductory paragraph mentions several large ministries where the founders’ sons have taken over for the father. (In my humble opinion, some of these sons have been groomed/prepared for leadership while others are living out a dynasty based upon name recognition.)

This is not just an issue for Pastors and church Boards!! What about your Small Group? What about the area where you volunteer in your local church? Do you have a plan to replace yourself? Can ministry continue (thrive?) in your absence?

When our children were little my wife was hospitalized on a few occasions, which left me for several days in the role of a single parent. The kids actually wore clean clothes each day and nobody lost weight during the ordeal. (I realize doing this for a week is not the same as those who carry this burden for years!) The point is that some homes are run in such a way that one spouse has no idea how to do laundry or where to find things in the pantry or where to find tools in the garage because the other spouse is too possessive of those areas. A wise person will develop others in the family with skills to cope in their absence.

In the same way, a wise ministry leader will develop others with the skills to do ministry in their absence. I would like some volunteer ministry leaders to weigh in on this…What are you doing to identify and develop leaders to replace yourself?

Reading Your Idiot Lights

I just found the following quote at the blog of another pastor. I thought these thoughts provide a good warning and he provides an appropriate response. Click on the link at the bottom to read the rest of his article.

Idiot lights on our dashboards signal to us that something is malfunctioning in our vehicle. The most common one is "check engine". It could be something as simple as a service call or a major problem with the power plant. Whichever, if we don't pay attention to them, some serious damage could result.

God graciously has put into all of us our own set of idiot lights that tell us when our power plant is on overload or malfunctioning. Let me list a few typical ones:

Fatigue, lack of compassion, anger, cynicism, depression, sleeplessness, defensiveness, excessive control, fear, anxiety, boredom, aimlessness, withdrawal.

healthier pastors: Reading Your Idiot Lights

From the Heart

I don't watch the MTV Video Music Awards (Sept 13, 2009) and I can't name a single song performed by either Taylor Swift or Kanye West, but in the last week the popular media has made quite a big deal about the rudeness demonstrated by Mr. West when he went on stage uninvited and took the microphone in the middle of Miss Swift's acceptance speech for some award and launched into a personal tirade. Ironically, he did a similar thing in November 2006 when his own video did not win first place in a European award show. Over the last week he has expressed remorse on multiple occasions and I have no reason to question his sincerity, but "you can't unring a bell." The comments made by other artists (who know these two individuals better than I do) since the event leads me to conclude that we have observed an example of a quote from a pastor friend...

Integrity is forged in obscurity and refined in visibility

The gracious way Miss Swift responded to this unexpected event was an overflow of character that had been developed in her life when she was far from the public eye.
The same principle was true of Isreal's greatest king. While David was a lowly shepherd and was out of the public eye he developed the character that would be required to be described as a man after God's own heart. Psalm 78:70-72 says that from shepherding David learned integrity and skill that led God to choose him as king.
As teachers and small group leaders it is important that we prepare well for the lessons that we guide. It is just as important that we tend to our hearts. When unexpected events happen the condition of your heart will determine your response and once a reaction has been given it is difficult to undo it.

Comment below: What practices do you find strengthen your character? What have you done to counter-act when the old nature has made an appearance in your behaviors while leading others?

Lessons from 2009 NFL Week 1

Many of those who follow this blog are leaders within local churches. As the NFL season started yesterday and the commentators disected every part of the game I found myself contemplating leadership lessons for the local church.

1. Be flexible to changing roles - From the Minnesota vs. Cleveland game I learned that leaders must adapt. Brett Favre used to be valued as a gun-slinger who was viewed as a "go to guy" who could make things happen. Now the commentators conclude that he is surrounded by new talent and he will succeed this year only if he adapts and becomes a "cool, consistent player who distributes the ball to the rest of the offensive team" (namely, Percy Harvin & Adrian Peterson). Wise Small Group leaders and Sunday School teachers will NEVER stop learning and adjusting.

2. Never quit too soon - From the Denver vs. Cincinnati game I learned that leaders don't give up until it is all over. Brandon Stokley's amazing catch game-winning touchdown teaches us that it is never wise to give up hope. I shudder to think how many blessings have been missed because leaders became discouraged and gave up just before God did something amazing in the lives of students.

3. Don't view yourself too highly - From the Chicago vs. Green Bay game I learned that leaders who attempt things beyond their ability bring disaster. Jay Cutler tried to force plays and threw 4 interceptions. Too often Christian leaders get ahead of what the Holy Spirit is doing in the lives of those we have been called to shepherd. God has placed you within a community to serve and grow as a community--not to be a superstar! Christ is the head of the church--not you.

4. You are not alone - From the New York Jets vs. Houston game I learned that leaders who honor others look good. I saw a little interview with rookie Mark Sanchez after his first NFL win. He was eager to give the glory to the hard work of the team and deflect it from himself. The more he genuinely bragged on others, the more I wanted to know about him. Leaders who are secure enough to lift up others find that they turn out all right. Players who are insecure and try to keep the spotlight on themselves look like jerks. The same is true in your class or small group--the more attention you give to your students/participants, the more they will want to be around you! When you try to impress, they can see right through it!

Remain flexible, Don't give up, don't try too hard, and honor others. What other positive things can you learn from the leadership of others? (Please do NOT attack the character or question the motives of these people)

Social Distance and Leaders

A consultant friend of mine wrote the following at his blog.

Leaders have an interesting dilemma when it comes to how close or distant they are socially from those they lead. It is often something that they don't think much about but it has important ramifications for how they relate to others.
There is a difference in the relationship between peers and those one leads. This is obvious when a leader is promoted from within and goes from peer to supervisor. Everyone knows that something has changed and that the relationship is different.

I have observed some who become “bossy” and too distant when entrusted with leadership. I have seen others who imploded their ministry because they failed to distinguish themselves from those they lead.

The link below gives a good reminder to intentionally evaluate your leadership relationships—friend, colleague or leader. To complicate things further, In some peer relationships (e.g. small groups) the proper distance is one of a collegial leader.

Leading From the Sandbox: Social Distance and Leaders

Artificial Transparency

A brother in the Lord whom I have never met recently resigned his pastorate because of a sinful relationship with a co-worker. I don’t know him or his church, but I do know that he is more like us than many of us would like to admit.

The following quote comes from another blogger who does know the pastor involved.

4.  Another interesting part of this story is the documented online history that Gary has online during the past six weeks (during his admitted affair).  According to his tweets, Gary and Revolution Church were seeing some amazing things happen for the Kingdom.  This included a family vacation, a marriage retreat, his assistant watching his kids and then hanging out with his wife, and baptizing a ton of people at the church.  Even during this season of sin, there was an appearance that all was well and God was blessing.

Here are my two thoughts:

1. Results are not always an indication of godly ministry. He appeared to be prioritizing his family and God’s blessing appeared to be upon his ministry. But he knew he was rebelling against God. Evidence of fruitful ministry does not mean it is right.

2. Talking (or writing) openly about personal matters (whether on Facebook, Twitter or in a small group) does not guarantee that you are being transparent with your heart.

When I was younger I worked in the restaurant business. We openly welcomed people into our dining room, yet carefully blocked their view of the kitchen! I believe that a lot of Christians invite people on to the “front porch” or even into the “living room” of their lives, but they never let others see the messy backroom where things really happen. We would literally have hundreds of people dine with us on some evenings but only a dozen employees would be allowed in the kitchen. You may have hundreds of Facebook friends, but how many people know your heart?

MondayMorningInsight.com > A Prayer for Another Fallen Servant…

The Lie of the Pursuit of the Balanced Life

What do you do when several activities all happen at once? Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? My body wants 30 minutes of rest, but my kids are whining that they are hungry (and we’re out of milk so I can’t just tell them to eat cereal). Our family is scheduled for a celebration, buy my boss just “requested” my participation in a meeting. My church is offering an event that would strengthen my faith, but my kids T-ball coach just announced the summer schedule. I just opened my Bible for some personal reading, and my unsaved neighbor is ringing my doorbell.

A common response to each of these struggles is to seek balance. There is not a single evil thing in the previous paragraph. Often when we feel tension between two good options, we seek to find balance in doing both of them. Instead of saying “no” to one, we tell ourselves that we can do it all as long as we don’t emphasize one thing too much.

We sometimes believe that the norm and God’s expectation is a magical balance where everything happens in the right proportion at all times. From my childhood I recall a perfume commercial that communicated wearing a particular scent would allow a woman to be a successful executive, a great homemaker and a romantic wife all at the same time. I don’t know if there is some mysterious woman gene that is activated by that particular perfume, but, speaking from the male experience, I have never been able to find that perfect balance between employee, husband and father.

I was recently challenged by chapter 15 of Larry Osborne’s book A Contrarian’s Guide to Knowing God. He cuts through the myth of the balanced life with these words,

Most of those heroes, if not all, had a single focus and live a life that, if it were being lives out today, would be viewed as wildly out of balance—in many cases weird…. Noah built a nice boat. But he also had some significant family dysfunction, not to mention an issue with alcohol. Moses was at the top of the charts as a leader, but way out of balance when it came to handling his workload. If his father-in-law hadn’t stepped in, he would have worked himself to death. David was clearly in touch with his inner self, but not as in touch with his sons—or wives. He was awfully good at carving our time for God every morning, but not so good at carving out time for them. As for balancing work and play, if David had been on the battlefield where he belonged, the whole mess with Bathsheba would have never taken place” (Osborn, p.152).

As I see it, the pursuit of the balanced life has at least 2 fatal flaws. The first flaw is that it assumes you can do it all. Man’s earliest problems can be attributed to the lie that I can be more and do more that I was created to do and be. Isaiah 14 describes how Lucifer wasn’t satisfied as an archangel; he wanted more. Genesis 3 describes Eve wasn’t pleased with the role God had given her; she wanted more. Daniel 4 tells us that Nebuchadnezzar was driven to mental illness because he thought he was more than God designed him to be.

God saw Adam as incomplete and in need of partnership to complement his limitations. God specifically instructs the Church in 1 Corinthians 12 that we were designed for cooperation. You were never meant to do it all. That is why we need each other!

One of my frustrations with parenting is convincing my children that there is no shame in asking for help.

The second flaw with the pursuit of the balanced life is that it denies the reality of seasons. Ecclesiastes 3 contains the musings of the wisest man in history (besides Jesus). Solomon concludes that there is a season for every purpose under heaven. Parents observe latency for long periods of time then sudden growth spurts where junior seems to outgrow pants and sneakers each time he wears them. Counselors identify seasons of a marriage from romance to realism to steadfastness to renewal and finally transcendence. Farmers and Gardners know there is a time to plant, a time to wait and a time to harvest.

There have been times in your life when your relationship with God flourished and you matured in huge leaps. There have also been times when you knew God was involved in your life, but things just seemed to be rolling along. There may have also been times where He felt very silent or distant.

I want to liberate you from the pursuit of perfect balance. Here are two questions to ask yourself so that you can experience freedom from balance while remaining in the realm of God’s will. 1) What does God want me to accomplish today? And 2) What areas of my life are so extreme that they threaten my health, performance and relationships?

These questions won’t lead you to a perfect state of Zen, Nirvana or Yin and Yang, but they will allow you to be a functional vessel of honor to be used by God.

$20,000 offered for listing 10 Commandments

Here is an interesting challenge. It won’t cost you anything but a little time and effort….and hiding God’s Word is never an exercise in futility.

Of coarse learning them is just the FIRST step, then we need to OBEY them, but how can we obey them if we don’t know what they are?

$20,000 offered for listing 10 Commandments
Entrepreneur creates incentive to memorize God's laws

$20,000 offered for listing 10 Commandments

The Value of a Covenant

In this story a student who attends a Christian school will not be allowed to graduate because he attended the prom with his girlfriend at her public school.

Ohio Christian school tells student to skip prom

Regardless of your personal opinions about dancing, rock music or suggestive clothing, do you think the school has a right or an obligation to be consistent and hold students to the promises they have made?

When believers claim to commit to one specific behavior (whatever it is) then intentionally break that commitment, what is the obligation of the faith community around them? If the school “looks the other way” on this one, would it set a precedent that would prohibit the school from having any integrity if disciplining another student on another area (cheating?) of the student life code?

My personal opinion: This event did not sneak up on this student. Had he taken any steps to change the covenant (appealing to authority in advance) before unilaterally determining to break it? His own words were that he “expected a short lecture..that would be the end of it.” He made a voluntary commitment to a voluntary group. He should be held to the commitments of that group (using progressive loving discipline/restoration) or be removed.

What about the covenant in your small group? If members commit to “not repeat anything shared in the group” and you find that one member is intentionally violating that trust. Does the group have an obligation? Does it just give a short lecture then ignore it?

What do you think?

Sermon in a Sack

Years ago I had a Childrens’ Sermon as part of our Sunday Evening service. Occasionally I would do “sermon in a sack.” A child was given a bag in which to bring an item for the following week. Then I would have to make an object lesson spontaneously from whatever was in the sack. This forced some quick thinking and creativity. I think the most difficult was a toy of a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.”

The picture above shows a creative solution to a problem, I would like to hear some of your creative solutions. Click on the “leave a comment” link below and share your ideas.

I am holding a back of bark mulch (the chipped wood that is spread around garden plants) and asking you to come up with a Biblical lesson based upon that product.

Definition of Leadership

Tom Peters on the Definition of Leadership from Tom Peters on Vimeo.

I do not know anything about this guy’s theology, but he does have some good things to say about the nature of leadership.

God is Bigger than the Swine Flu Bug

I learned 2 days ago of nearby churches that cancelled services due to the Swine Flu.

My first thought was “What kind of a god (small “g” god on purpose because the big “G” God is not intimidated by influenza!) do they worship who is no stronger than a flu virus.” Granted, I do not know the leaders of these churches and cannot critique their motives. My reaction is totally dependent upon my perception of what they might be thinking. Perhaps they have resigned themselves to religious activities rather than true worship of the true God.

Even the Centers for Disease Control released a Press Release for Faith-based organizations and the closest they got to suggesting worship services be cancelled is the quote below.

Evaluate your organization’s usual activities and services (including rites and religious practices if applicable) to identify those that may facilitate virus spread from person to person. Set up policies to modify these activities to prevent the spread of pandemic influenza (e.g. guidance for respiratory hygiene and cough etiquette, and instructions for persons with influenza symptoms to stay home rather than visit in person.)

PandemicFlu.gov

I feel sorry for churches where the worship of and dependence upon Almighty God has been substituted for religious activity that is just business as usual. One church leader was quoted on WISN.com as saying

The thought is, once churches get past this weekend. It will be business as usual.

Years ago the VeggieTales sang “God is bigger than the Boogie man.” Perhaps a new praise chorus needs to be written “God is bigger than the flu virus.”

From Entertainment to Empowerment

Last week I spent some time with a dear friend who leads a nearby College Campus Ministry. Some of our discussion focused on transitions to and from the college years. Here are two of the challenges:

Many youth ministries thrive because of fun and creativity. Often churches design their High School ministries around “winning” or “reaching” teens. But what are they won to? Teens find a place where they are accepted and loved and everything is done to affirm them and draw them in, but they are never challenged to DO anything with their faith. They are recipients of “ministry”.

In most Campus ministries, the staff is driven by a desire to be world changes and they don’t have time to “hold hands” or merely entertain students. When it comes to entertaining, they can’t compete with the options around campus so they call their students to leadership and impact, to being world-changers. All of the students who came from “fun” youth groups don’t have their expectations met in this new high-commitment setting and many drop out all together.

At the end of 4 (or 5 or 6) years these college graduates who were won by and deeply involved as leaders of collegiate ministry transition away from school and find that the adult ministry of most churches doesn’t provide many opportunities to be in front of the large group meeting or in charge of the Bible Study. These 20-somethings feel like their “leadership” isn’t recognized so their expectations aren’t met and they drop out. (until they have kids whom they want to be raised in the church and many come back).

A mature view of the body of Christ moves people to participation in the Body. It’s not about me being ministered to. It’s not about me being seen by others. It’s about being part of community where myself AND those around me are becoming like Christ in our thoughts, motives and behaviors.

One Youth Pastor suggested 5 steps that can be taken to move people from receiving felt-need ministry to being involved, empowered and having an “others” focus. Are any of these part of your small group or class?

5. Cultivate an atmosphere that allows your students to experiment.

4. Give away VITAL aspects of the ministry:

3. Challenge the ordinary:

2. Always give a measurement of growth:

1.  Give them the license to FAIL:

MondayMorningInsight.com > 5 ways to effectively EMPOWER students

Responsibility

In the first church where I was on staff my Senior Pastor was known for clearly stating “the first responsibility of any church member is to maintain his own spiritual life.”

This weekend I began reading the book “Lasting Impressions” by Mark Waltz. The 3rd chapter of the book introduced a problem that many small group leaders and Christian Education teachers possess—We make it our responsibility that those we teach are growing spiritually. Consider his words quoted below.

When I felt responsible for every person, my failure or success depended on their steps in their journeys. When I felt responsible for our students, I considered their missteps to be my fault. I felt profound guilt when people didn’t line up with what I thought they should know and do.

Being responsible to our people is quite different. And incredibly freeing.

• When I’m responsible to people, I understand they have choices. When I’m responsible for people, I think I should decide for them.
• When I’m responsible to people, I know they must figure out their next steps. When I’m responsible for people, I try to tell them what their next steps are.
• When I’m responsible to people, I know they must bear the consequences of their own chosen actions. When I’m responsible for people, I assume the guilt—or worse, the shame—for them.
• When I’m responsible to people, I share their journeys, offering encouragement and teaching. When  I’m responsible for people, I try to direct their journeys, never allowing them to wrestle, mess up, or make a wrong turn.
• When I’m responsible to people, I talk to God a lot on their behalf. When I’m responsible for people, I talk to people a lot on God’s behalf.

What do you think? Is Mr. Waltz on to something? Have you felt the bondage of responsible for and the liberty of responsible to?

Maturity is marked by lots of Immaturity

I am reading Mark Waltz’s “Lasting Impressions” in which he quotes a blog from his Pastor, Mark Beeson.

"The 'mature church' is the church filled with immaturity."

Anywhere in the world, whether plant or animal, the clear delineation of "maturity" is the ability to reproduce.  Immature animals can't reproduce.  Immature plants can't replicate themselves.  The definition of maturity is "being fully ripe, fully aged" so the connotation of maturity is obvious.  Where you see maturity you'll observe new life, babies and immaturity all over the place.

Maturity desires reproduction.
Maturity tolerates juvenile behavior (from juveniles) while training its progeny for success in life.
Maturity means "little poults running all over the place."

If you attend a mature church, be prepared for immaturity.

I found this to be an interesting insight. Maturity is not marked by absence of immaturity. The more Maturity is demonstrated in your church, the more immaturity will be present, exposing the need for maturity.

Mark Beeson: Meleagris gallopavo / Easter Wild Turkey

Problems and Solutions

Received the following in an email on Friday and it reminded me about the difference between those who focus on problems and those who look for solutions.

As teachers/leaders we can get discouraged by lack of participation, lack of preparation, tardiness, stagnancy in the group, etc. or we can choose another path.

I often hear from leaders/teachers “by now I thought my students OUGHT to….” We need to revise our thinking by telling ourselves “right now my students CAN….”

DUCKS QUACK, EAGLES FLY

Harvey Mackay was waiting in line for a taxi at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie and freshly pressed black slacks, Wally the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back door. Harvey noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside — spotlessly clean.

As Wally slid behind the wheel, he said, "Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf."

Jokingly, Harvey said, "No, I'd prefer a soft drink."

Wally smiled and said, "No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice."

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, "I'll take a Diet Coke."

Handing Harvey his drink, Wally said, "If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today."

As the taxi pulled away from the curb, Wally handed Harvey a laminated card and said, "These are the stations I get and the music they play if you'd like to listen to the radio." As if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey the air conditioning was on and asked if the temperature was comfortable.

The driver then advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. Wally also let Harvey know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

"Tell me, Wally," the amazed passenger asked, "have you always served customers like this?"

Wally smiled and looked in the rear view mirror. "No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru Wayne Dyer on the radio saying that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, ‘Stop complaining. Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd."

"So I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers unfriendly and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more."

"I take it that has paid off for you," Harvey said.

"It sure has," Wally replied. "My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year, I'll probably quadruple it."

Wally the cab driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like a duck and to start soaring like an eagle.

-----------------

Reprinted with permission from nationally syndicated columnist Harvey Mackay, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller "Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive."

You can always find Harvey's nationally-syndicated weekly column on his website at www.harveymackay.com and can sign up to receive it for free every Thursday morning.

What is the power behind your persuasion?

I just finished reading a blog post about the disappearance of the pulpit from the sanctuaries of American Evangelicalism. As you lead your small group or class, what does your posture communicate? Do you stand or sit? Is there a piece of furniture (podium or lectern) that designates you as the leader? Do you sit in front of the class? close to the whiteboard? head of the table? Do you hold the remote to the PowerPoint (designating you are in control of the flow of the presentation) or do you set it down (communicating we are going to stay on this topic until it is adequately covered)? Do your students/participants respect you because you have lived life with them and you have relational influence or do you rely upon positional power?

My conclusion is that this is not an either/or issue, it is a both/and situation. Sometimes authoritative proclamation is most needed and sometimes relational dialogue is most appropriate. The wise communicator will use all sources of persuasion and use appropriate posture for whatever purpose he/she is speaking.

Below is a snippet of the blog post about the disappearance of pulpits. A link is at the end of this post if you would like to read the rest of his thoughts.

You may have noticed that most evangelical churches have abandoned the pulpit for a more seeker-friendly wooden stool.

“From the pulpit” is a phrase that is often used to communicate the authority of the message.

In Protestantism the pulpit stands as the iconic symbol for the very foundations of the movement.

I teach a teacher training course. During this course we discuss the way that one communicates non-verbally during a presentation. For example, when one wishes to teach in a more Socratic method, they will ask questions of the audience. The goal is maximum participation. Here, the desire is to make your audience think critically, expecting them to carry some of the burden. This method is accomplished best when the teacher is walking among the audience (peripatetic). He or she should not be on a raised platform, for this communicates a level of authority that will hinder participation. One wants to communicate that they are leading the discussion, not autonomously telling people what to think. Therefore, being on level with the audience is the best method.

However, if one is to speak authoritatively, this is not the best method. In this case, one wants to be seen as the teacher, not merely a participant in the learning or a discussion guide leader. Here preparation, authority, and command of the subject are communicated in two ways: 1) Elevated height. When one is physically raised above the audience, this not only gives the speaker the ability to be seen and heard, it demonstrates their unique position as the teacher. 2) Pulpit or podium. The podium serves as a separation between you and the audience demonstrating the authority of that which you are teaching.

In traditional Protestantism, the pulpit has served to position the Scripture as the ultimate authority.

Parchment and Pen » The Forgotten Pulpit#comment-22079

Looking for Life-Change

Who is responsible for the outcomes of your class or small group? All leaders want to see something happen and at times we can waffle between taking all of the credit for the good and none of the blame for the mediocre or we blame ourselves for all of the failures and give God credit for all the successes.

Neither of these postures is accurate. The human/divine partnership in making disciples is a tension that all of us must hold. DON’T become passive or lazy and DON’T become domineering or controlling!

The thoughts below come for a website that quotes a portion of a book that I have not read. The paragraphs below and the hints on the webpage they are taken from give some good advice on things you can do to ENCOURAGE real transformation without trying to MANUFACTURE it in your own strength.

Transformation is our goal in small groups. At the same time, it is something that is not up to us. God is the author of transformation. We cannot, by following certain steps or doing the right thing, bring about transformation in our own life or the lives of others. The most we can do is simply be open to it—to put ourselves, and our groups, in the best position possible for God to do his work.

So what can small groups do to help bring about transformation? This is one of those times when it would be nice to have "five steps toward transformation," or a nifty acronym, or better yet, an acrostic of the word transformation—"T" is for "take time to reflect … ." But transformation cannot be wrapped up with a pretty bow. There's no formula. No way to plan for it.

Deep transformation is possible for people in small-group community, but skills and spiritual maturity on the part of the facilitator are often the vehicles the Spirit chooses to use to get us there. Transformation is the end; skills are the bridge that helps us cross the chasm to get there. As facilitators, we develop skills and maturity to maintain openness to our own transformation and—potentially—to be used by God as an agent of transformation in the lives of others.

Looking for Life-Change | Articles | SmallGroups.com

Open Church in a Closed Community…

I just read of a large church that is opening an additional venue. The problem (in some readers’ minds) is that this venue is in a gated community. The building they will be using for worship is owned by the developer and one of the policies is that the building is only to be used by residents of the development and their guests. Some are upset that people who don’t live in that community won’t be able to drop in and visit the church.

Time for a reality check!! I think that those who are upset with this location are of the impression that mass marketing, creative signs and impressive media is what draws guests into America’s churches. All of the content that I am reading says that “programs don’t build churches, people build churches”. If the people of this new church are inviting their friends, neighbors and co-workers then the problem is solved—each person who attends this facility is a guest of a resident. I think the days when a person would see a steeple on a building and decide to drop in for services have long disappeared.

(Yes, I know that disconnected visitors may visit a worship service. But they would be a very small minority of those who do so!) The proportion would be even smaller of those who would come to your class or Small group because of some marketing or the fact that you are using a popular curriculum. MOST people who visit (and become a part of) the group you are leading will do so ONLY IF the current participants have been kind to them, invited them and welcomed them into your learning community.

This week I noticed ads in the newspaper paid for by churches who normally don’t do newspaper advertising. I am of the conclusion that ads will remind people who are already convinced, but they won’t persuade many (any?) to engage in becoming a Christ follower.

What are you doing to empower your current participants to be your sales, marketing and recruiting team for new group participants?

MondayMorningInsight.com > Saddleback to Open a Private Church Campus on Easter…

Leading in Silence

Over the last week I have read 2 blogs and one email that all address a similar problem—what are we to do when our heart is focused upon God but He remains silent. I’m confident that all who have been Christians for a significant amount of time have experienced this, and sometimes Small Group Leaders and Bible Study teachers are compelled to give lessens that are not fresh, but come from the storehouse of our Christian walk. This should not be the norm, but it does happen.

• One blog spoke about an extended hospital stay where God appeared mostly distant (with the exception of when other believers prayed).
• Another blog spoke of a man who tried church but gave up when “nothing happened”
• The email I received referred to Malachi 3:3 where God is described as a refiner and purifier of silver. The tone of the message was that many times we just have to wait and let God do what He does until the process is complete.

An interesting aspect of that passage in Malachi is the historical setting. Malachi spoke after the return from the Babylonian captivity. The walls of protection had been rebuilt under Nehemiah, the Law had been restored to prominence under Ezra, and the Temple operations had been restored under Haggai and Zechariah. Everything seemed to be poised for blessing when Malachi reminded the people that God would purify and refine the people. What happens next?  400 years of silence. How frustrating to have done all the right things then experience silence from God! [Imagine all that has happened in American History since the founding of Jamestown in 1607, that is how long God was silent with regards to speaking Scripture through his prophets.]

Scripture is full of times when God’s people had to wait until God decided to act.

• 400 years between Joseph’s death and Moses’ birth
• 40 years Moses was in Midian until the Burning Bush
• 15-20 years between David’s anointing and becoming King
• John the Baptist was imprisoned long enough that he began to wonder if Jesus was who he thought He was.
• Disciples kept falling asleep while Jesus prayed in the Garden before his crucifixion (nothing happening?)
• Eutychus fell asleep during a LONG service and fell out a window (Acts 20). Eutychus wasn’t hearing from God while he slept that soundly!

If you are going through a drought of the soul, now is the time to demonstrate faith (Heb 11:1). Faith, by definition, involves hope and things that are not seen/apparent!

As we approach the Easter season, remember that the GLORY of the Resurrection only happened after days of SILENCE. Don’t give up hope while waiting in the desert!

More Like the Master

The goal is NOT to make people like me.

Transformation means that we are regularly becoming more like Jesus in our relationships, our intellect, our experiences, the desires of our hearts, in the shedding of those elements of our lower nature and the embracing of the fruit of the spirit.
Helping people get to transformation is the key to spiritual formation or mentoring. The place to start is where people are and not where we think they should be.

The quote above is from the blog of a ministry friend. The link below will take you to that post so that you can read the rest of his thoughts. I think he hits the nail on the head in describing the difference between what many of our churches consider to be “discipleship” and what God really wants to accomplish in the lives of his children.

Leading From the Sandbox: Spiritual mentoring

Never Underestimate the Importance of a Good Party

Winter appears to be letting up and Spring is getting close. Have you thought about how to capitalize on this in your Small Group? The following quote comes from an article at smallgroups.com

Never underestimate the importance of a good party or social activity as a way to build your group. In the small groups at my home church, we learned we could easily double our regular small-group attendance with unchurched friends if the group members invited them to a party or two first.

Theme nights such as "I Hate Winter," "Thanksgiving Dinner," "Halloween Bonfire," and "Fifties Night" have been very successful for us. To gather a crowd, the key is to provide good food and play a few corny games. Unchurched people always have a good time, and are usually willing to listen intently as a few of our group members share their stories of how they came to a personal relationship with Jesus. Often, decisions are made for Christ at such gatherings—all because we had a party.

I’ve found that a beverage with bubbles (I’m thinking Ginger Ale) and a treat with frosting can turn any event into a celebration. I am eager to fire up the grill for the first time in several months. Perhaps your Small Group could celebrate by inviting friends before the Soccer and T-ball schedules get too busy.

The article quoted above (link is below) shows some of the ways Jesus leveraged the potential of a party.

Never Underestimate the Importance of a Good Party | Articles | SmallGroups.com

Irritation or Enrichment

I recently read of a family visiting New York City. Read their story below then my comments underneath.

And on our first day there, we took in the show STOMP... you know, the show that features rhythmic people using brooms, trash cans, and anything/everything imaginable to entertain.
The four of us really enjoyed the show. But as I was watching, I had one thought: Each of these people are incredibly talented. They can do things with brooms and pipes and matchboxes that I could never imagine. But let's face it... if there was just one of these people on stage beating on a trash can lid, it wouldn't be much of a show. Without the other members of the STOMP troupe, each cast member would most probably be a candidate for David Letterman's 'stupid human tricks' segment. But together with the rest of the show's crew, they have created an entertaining and mezmerizing show. By combining their talents with the talents of other, something incredible is created...

It reminds me so much of the church, when it’s working properly

At your small group meeting or class, are you an irritant who is just getting on the nerves of other group members or are you part of a community that is making something greater than the sum of its parts?

I was recently contemplating an individual who tends to be very confrontational and the sarcastic comment popped into my head (I would rarely say it out loud), “I didn’t realize there was a job opening in the Godhead and that the role of the Holy Spirit had been given to you”.

Yes, you are part of the BODY of Christ, but you are only part. It is important that you do your part but it is also imperative that EACH member of the Body is acting as it should so that something beautiful is accomplished and you are not just some nut hitting a trash can with a broomstick.

MondayMorningInsight.com > What the Church Could Learn from STOMP

2009 March - LifeChurch.tv : swerve

The following list was posted on the blog of Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch in Oklahoma City. What would you add or subtract from the list?

I still love small groups because:

• They follow the early church model of meeting in homes.
• They are a tremendous tool for discipleship. I prefer small groups to Wednesday night large group teaching because it gives people a chance to interact. I prefer small groups to Sunday School simply because you don’t have to build the expensive extra classroom space.
• They get more people involved using their gifts of hospitality, teaching, exhortation, etc.
• They engage the body of Christ in pastoral care. Instead of the pastors being the only ones who care for believers, small groups spread the load and utilize gifted lay people.
• They build leaders.
• Done well, they become a tremendous tool of retention. People want to be needed and known. Small groups make both possible.
• They have unlimited meeting space. You can’t run out of homes, restaurants, apartments, or coffee shops in which to meet.
• They have unlimited meeting times. In today’s busy world, a once-a-week discipleship opportunity will not work for the majority of your church. Small groups offer unlimited times to meet.
• They have changed my life. My family’s small group is like our extended family. God has used them to bless us in untold ways.

2009 March - LifeChurch.tv : swerve

Leading From the Sandbox: Hearth and Home

Environment makes a difference. In the medical world the family doctor quit making housecalls and has become more “professional” or “clinical.” In the education world when I was a kid it was common for a child to bring cupcakes or some other treats to school on his/her birthday. Now some school districts require all foods served at school to be prepared in a licensed commercial kitchen. The local insurance agent now competes with online providers that are “so easy even a caveman can do it.” But we have lost the relationship with doctor who you could call with an emergency, the mothers who knew their childrens’ classmates and the local businessman who has a vested interest in the community.

The following story comes from the blog of a man I respect who leads and International ministry with hundreds of employees, but he reminds us of the power of 5-6 people in a living room. If the quote below piques your curiosity, click the link below for more thoughts on the topic.

Years ago my son Jon hosted a "theological discussion" in our home during his high school years with a number of his friends. Today, they have all graduated from college and are on with their lives but they stay connected to us. Jon recently said, "You don't know how much you guys mean to them."

The comment was a surprise because all we had done was open our home. But what we missed was the fact that our home was a haven, a place of peace, fun, grace, acceptance and a sanctuary for some whose own homes were not.

Ironically, our home was smaller than their homes, had the oldest television, and the fewest toys. None of that mattered. It was a place of peace and refuge.

Leading From the Sandbox: Hearth and Home

He Reigns

In my undergraduate education I was required to take a course called “The Church at Work in the World” that focused on the task of Christian Education. One of the earliest teaching points was explaining the difference between Christian Education and other forms of Education.

In my graduate courses I took a class that started with a classic definition of the learning process (“a function of learner, teacher, curriculum and environment”) but we added an overriding dimension of the activity of a Triune God.

Yesterday in our worship services we focused on the attribute of God that is known as sovereignty.

Have you considered how the sovereignty of God impacts your group? The events that God allows into the lives of your students influences their perception of the things you say. Before you ever step foot into your teaching environment, factors beyond your control have altered the teachability of your students.

Sometimes I have stepped into a room and been impressed by God that the current needs will not be addressed by the lesson I had prepared. This is NOT an excuse to avoid preparation. If you have done the hard work of preparation (both the content and methods you will use as well as preparing your own heart and mind for delivering that content) THEN God can freely redirect according to His sovereignty.

What other ways are you aware that God’s sovereignty affects your class or small group?

What Is Spiritual Direction?

You are more than an instructor or a teacher! Many people misunderstand our intentional change in language from “discipleship” to “spiritual formation.” In its purest form the word discipleship means the qualities of being a follower but the term has been hijacked in the common vernacular to mean “somebody who has been lead one-on-one through a specific curriculum.” The move to spiritual formation is an intentional move beyond the cognitive and behavioral into the very essence of being. The power of the Gospel doesn’t only change what we know or how we behave, it changes the very essence of who we are.

This essence works closely with my last post on “How much time do I have?” As small group leaders and Christian Education teachers we are not there to “dump data” into open minds. Our intent should be to see the person developed into a person who is more controlled by God’s Spirit.

The following 7 descriptors from Richard Foster highlight the valuable task to which we are committed.

What is spiritual direction?

1. Spiritual direction is an interpersonal relationship in which we learn how to grow, live, and love in the spiritual life.

2. Spiritual direction involves a process through which one person helps another person understand what God is doing and saying.

3. Discernment is a crucial gift in the work of spiritual direction.

4. In spiritual direction there is absolutely no domination or control.

5. The spiritual director/mentor/pastor guides another in spiritual things through the spiritual world by spiritual means.

6. God has ordained that there be spiritual directors/mentors/pastors among his people. This is the structure of love in practice.

7. Supremely, spiritual directors/mentors/pastors are persons who have a sense of being "established" in God. Otherwise they are too dangerous to be allowed into the soul space of others.

What Is Spiritual Direction? | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

How Long do I have?

I have been invited to speak several times since I began preaching as a High School student and I have invited several guests to speak in the organizations and churches that I have been a part of leading. One of the earliest questions that is usually asked in this process is “How long do I have to speak?” A much more important, but less asked, question should be “What do you want to accomplish through my message/lesson?”

It is too easy to revert to “I have a time slot to fill” rather than “I have a purpose to accomplish.” Most of us have come to realize that one lesson or one discussion is not going to bring a listener to spiritual maturity. The best we can hope is that spiritual transformation takes one step in the right direction. But do we intentionally define that one step that we desire to see?

Early in my Christian Education classes I was taught that EVERY lesson should have a clearly state AIM. When I took classes to improve my preaching I was told that EVERY sermon should have a MAIN IDEA.

Too often our motivation is to “cover the next chapter” or “get through the lesson”, but we really don’t expect our students/participants to leave the session different than they came in.

Any clown can entertain for a segment of time, but an intentional skilled leader can be used by God to accomplish lasting results in that same amount of time.

Isaiah 40:31

This link is a short story told by a pastor friend (Tom Nelson) about a real-life encounter with an eagle and a PHENOMENAL spiritual application for all Christ-followers.

Seven Presidential Promises

Many conservative Evangelicals were less than pleased with the outcome of the 2008 presidential election. Many of these same people were even less pleased with the contempt shown to our 43rd president. I found this list of promises that could be adopted to ensure that one does not become guilty of inappropriate dishonor and disrespect.

1.    President Obama, I promise to pray for you each and every day that God would give you wisdom and favor and that He would protect you from those who are evil.

2.    President Obama, I promise to respect you for not only what you have achieved personally and how you’ve taken advantage of all your opportunities, but the fact that you fulfill the role of President of my country, an office worthy of respect though the men who have occupied it have been imperfect, its ideal still abides; a Democracy ruled over not by a King, but by a President elected by the people.

3.    President Obama, I promise to support you where I can and to reserve judgment over those things I disagree, believing that you may know more about the subject than I do.

4.    President Obama, I promise to believe the best about you.  I won’t listen to conspiracy theories and throw you under the bus at the first sign that you may not be doing something the majority of the people agree with.

5.    President Obama, I promise to be the kind of American worthy of a great President.

6.    President Obama, I promise I will not expect you to do for me what I should be doing for myself.  I’m glad I don’t live in a Socialist state.  I live in a Democracy driven by Capitalism, the idea that I am personally responsible for my actions.  So I’ll not ask you to pay my house payment or feed me unless I have a catastrophic disability.  I’m willing to pay my taxes and my fair share and fully take responsibility.

7.    President Obama, I promise to remember that you’re human; that you occupy an office that no human can be expected to perform flawlessly.  I’ll try to put myself in your place even though it would be hard to do.

Dave Rave - Seven Presidential Promises

When Nobody is Watching.

A friend posted a note on Facebook yesterday exposing the gaps between what she knows about herself and how she is perceived by others. There were no glaring hypocrisies, but God had made her acutely aware of the dualism in her life.

I am doing a self-study through some spiritual formation material developed by a fellow pastor. When looking at the description of King David in Psalm 78 and 1 Sam 17 he observes that David’s preparation for the throne was so obscure that his own father did not think of him as “King material.” David was off by himself in the back fields but God was preparing him for a task.

“An integral life is forged in obscurity and refined in visibility”

--Tom Nelson

One cannot turn on a news broadcast without hearing about tomorrow’s inauguration. One of the criticisms leveled against our new President was his perceived inexperience. “Could a one-term junior Senator from Illinois have the skills to lead our country?” His opponent in the primaries asked “Who do you want answering the phone at 3 AM?”

Political Pundits have already admitted that President Obama’s leadership will be tested soon after the oath of office. I guess that is the “refined in visibility” part of Tom Nelson’s quote.

If you are reading this you are most-likely a small group leader or teacher in a Christian education class. So I ask you (as I have been reflecting personally), Who are you when nobody is watching? Regardless of if you are like my friend on Facebook, the greatest King Israel has ever had, the 44th President of the United States or the facilitator of a group of six Christ-followers learning from each other, what you are when you are alone WILL be revealed, tested and refined in visibility.

Are we “making a Statement” or having an influence?

I learned this morning of a list of the “Top Ten Instances of Christian Bashing in America” as compiled by the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission.

My first thought was “Why are THOSE PEOPLE so offended by my values?”

My second thought was “THEY are misrepresenting my view”

My third (and continuing) thought is “Is this how I come across to those who disagree with me?”

Click here to watch the video that was #10 on the list.

Top Ten Instances of Christian Bashing in America, 2008

Awkward Turtle

Is your group a safe place for people to admit real struggles? Sometimes people don’t admit their struggles because they are afraid of the response from others.

Last fall I was introduced to a YouTube phenomena called “awkward turtle” that is popular among some teens. The idea is that if someone does or says something embarrassing then you make a “turtle” with your hands who swims away (with you attached) from the awkward situation.

Because LIFE IS MESSY, you may have wished you had an awkward turtle following the confession of somebody in your group. You don’t want to embarrass the individual, you don’t want to ignore the sin. But what do you do? This comes from SmallGroups.com

One of the aims of our small groups is (or should be) to create a safe environment where people can grow closer to God. Well, growing closer to God often involves the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the need to repent of sin. If someone's confessing, it means you've done a good job leading your group and you should give yourself a pat on the back. (Okay, you can actually give God the credit, but you get the point.)

The Spirit has decided it's time for them to bring their sins into the light and deal with them, and you are the lucky person who's been chosen to help them in that process. So what do you do?

You Struggle with That!? | Articles | SmallGroups.com

The Devil is in the details

It is often the small things that the enemy of our souls uses to undermine the things God desires to accomplish in your group members. This list from SmallGroups.com list some of the details you may want to consider. Once the details are addressed (do not obsess about them) you can focus on the big picture. Clicking on the link at the bottom of the page will give you an explanation of each bullet point and a few more details to consider.

Details matter. They matter to God, and they matter to your people. So here are some areas to keep an eye on as you prepare for your cell-group meeting.

• Home Atmosphere
• Temperature
• Seating Arrangement
• Lighting
• Materials
• Refreshments

Pay Attention to Details | Articles | SmallGroups.com

Teach how you don’t learn.

A couple of years ago I took a class as part of my Master’s Degree. The biggest take-away from that class is that “If I am to be influential as a teacher I must know my own learning style and intentionally include teaching methods directed at the opposite quadrant if I want to maximize the impact upon all students”

I realize that some life coaches challenge you to work from your strengths rather than focusing upon your weaknesses, but leveraging your strengths to overcome your weaknesses may be a strategy to propel another person to maximize his/her strengths.

So What Is a Learning Style?

A learning style is simply how one perceives and processes information. And we all do that differently. That's the rub, and what makes an awareness of learning styles important for those involved with small groups. Let's go back to the definition. To perceive information refers to the way we take in data: through our senses. One person may do it best visually, another through hearing, yet someone else may prefer to be actively involved.

Then there is the processing aspect. That's what the brain does with the information after it has been perceived. Here again are significant differences. Information may be split into parts, organized, clumped together, analyzed, manipulated—any number of things. Most of us can do all these forms of perceiving and processing, but when it comes to learning, we tend to have preferences. The way we learn, especially in our early years, can influence our personality. How we learn matters.

Currently there are many models of learning styles. Some have to do with the influence of environmental factors, such as lighting or type of seating; others relate to influences on body rhythms, like time of day or the season.

One that I find particularly helpful deals with the cognitive and affective aspects of learning—how I think and feel about my learning. David Kolb developed the model in the late 70's, and shortly thereafter Bernice McCarthy contributed insights regarding the affective components of learning. The work of these two educators informs much of this article.

Kolb's model can be represented by a grid with two axes: one horizontal, the other vertical. The vertical axis has feeling (concrete experience) at the top and thinking (abstract conceptualization) at the bottom; the horizontal axis has doing (active experimentation) on the left and watching (reflective observation) on the right. The two axes intersect, creating four quadrants.

The top right quadrant represents imaginative or innovative people who like to diverge in their thinking (type 1 learners); the bottom right is analytic, representing those who assimilate facts (type 2); the bottom left quadrant is common sense for those who converge their learning (type 3); and the top left signifies dynamic people who experiment (type 4).

Learning Styles and Lesson Preparation | Articles | SmallGroups.com

Guest-friendly Groups

The following advice comes from the SmallGroups.com website. If you have guests who never come back, there may be some strategies below that could help. When your group members see guests being assimilated they know it is a safe place to bring their friends.

There are things you can be sensitive to as the small-group leader that will help your group to naturally embrace and include new members:

1. Warmly welcome newcomers into your group. Learn a little about them as you greet them and walk them into your gathering space. Do your best to remember facts they share about who they are, their family and friends, and how they found your group. On this note, one of most simple and powerful ways of helping a newcomer feel at home in your group is to call them by their first name each time you refer to them. Connect them with a few people as they come in and help to strike up conversations before your study begins.
2. Do not focus on them. Most guests like to be acknowledged—they just do not like to stand out or be spotlighted in front of a group. If you keep things normal, the group will feel more natural and comfortable to newcomers.
3. Do not over-accommodate. Just be yourself and allow the group to be itself. For example, do not hesitate to pray or worship in your group if newcomers are present. Sometimes this is exactly what God uses to gather spiritually-unconvinced people to himself (see Acts 2:46-47.) If somebody needs prayer, pray for them. If you are going to worship, just do it. Do not attempt to explain it for newcomers. They want to see things how they really are and would rather not have you disrupt the flow of what you do on their account.
4. Facilitate relationships. The more people your guests sense a possible connection with, the more likely it is they will want to return. So help newcomers get to know a few others in your group. The likelihood of newcomers returning increases by at least 50 percent if they experience a sense of belonging through their connection with others. This can be cultivated by highlighting things your guests hold in common with other group members, and by conducting timely follow-up.
5. Exploit their interests. Find out what subjects your guests have an enthusiasm or expertise in and talk about those! People like to talk about things they know about. Newcomers will feel more empowered and comfortable talking about the things of interest to them. If you listen with interest, you will show that you are interested in them as a person, and they will not feel like a project.
6. Hang out. When you have guests, leave plenty of time for people to socialize at the tail-end of your group. Newcomers tend to be more interested in being personal toward the end of a group, rather than the beginning. Use this time to introduce your group members to the guests, and to facilitate relaxed conversations.
7. Follow up. Follow up with newcomers before your next meeting to let them know you hope to see them again. If a guest came with somebody, encourage their friend to welcome them back. Sometimes group leaders hold off from following up in this way because they're afraid of being intrusive or coming across as pushy. In reality, guests appreciate this act of kindness, and it makes your group more inviting overall. If you do not risk the remote possibility of coming across as intrusive in your follow-up, newcomers may feel like they are intruding.

Q & A Discussion | Train | SmallGroups.com